I LOVE MY LEGS!
You may not think this is worthy of the headline “Special Announcement” but this is a radically new thought for me. For so long I have HATED my legs – my first active memory of this was in high school (yes, that’s over thirty years ago) and it was “shorts” day. I dreaded it. I hated wearing shorts for two reasons: my legs are short and my thighs rubbed together when I walked causing shorts to ride up. I think I wore the longest shorts I could find so they wouldn’t ride up and my classmates couldn’t actually see my legs. But this wasn’t the start – it’s never the start – of these feelings. That’s a longer and more complicated story of images and expectations set by others… Coming from this point to being able to say, no scream, I LOVE MY LEGS is a big deal.
Thick thighs. I’ve had them all my life and used to HATE them. In high school I rarely wore shorts or skirts or anything tight so I could hide them. I was lucky grunge was the predominant style – I wore baggy EVERYTHING so I didn’t have to compare my thunder thighs to my friends and others who more closely matched the ideal I wished I could have. And now I think of them as THICC THIGHS.
With my thick thighs comes a little knee bump that prevents my legs from ever looking lean. This is an inherited trait (thanks Grandma) and will always be there. But man I hated it. They were never long and lean and the styles I loved (hello 1940s Katherine Hepburn) looked ridiculous on me. But what did I know thirty years ago? How do I feel about these now? Well, they’re just my knees and they help me with so much.
And then the length. Have I mentioned they are short? Short and squat. That’s how I’ve described myself forever. Again, the long and lean styles I loved from the 1940s looked awkward – flared pants with thick thighs? That doesn’t work. But with age came a knowledge and a laissez-faire attitude towards what others think.
But I’ve realized that I love my legs now. When did this happen? Well, I was driving into work one day and looked down at my legs and said to myself for no real reason “I LOVE my legs.” I’m forty-five years old and I don’t think I’ve EVER said that about my legs before. Mostly I’ve derided and hidden them because they aren’t conventionally shaped, they have large, powerful thighs with NO THIGH GAP (is this still something women and girls worry about?), and are relatively short.
But that day I realized that I love my legs. It’s not that I went to bed thinking I hated my legs and woke up loving them it has been a gradual process to be sure. They still have the same attributes they always have but I’ve learned that those attributes make me who I am. They still rub together when I walk, they are still short and I still have huge calves, and they still spread wide on the surface when seated. Nothing about my legs has really changed (well, they are MORE muscly now) but my attitude towards them has shifted.
This shift has taken place over the past several years, especially the last four when I began powerlifting. Yes, powerlifting (you were wondering when that would come up, weren’t you?). My build seems perfect – thick shoulders to hold a bar, thick thighs and strong legs to help me squat and lift the weight. So while I will never be a conventional body I have learned to LOVE my body because now I know that it is built exactly as it should be – thicc thighs, knee bumps and all.
Donna the Destroyer 