Recap: MN Women’s State Championship

My latest meet has come and gone and I’m left sitting here with a hard-earned bronze medal thinking about where I started and where I’m going from here.

My first powerlifting meet was the Twin Ports Raw Open on May 30, 2015. I was so nervous – about wearing a singlet, lifting the weights, I didn’t trust that I knew what I was doing or that I even trained right. I didn’t know anything, I was shy and had a fear of failure and didn’t know how to talk other powerlifters – they all knew what was going on and I wasn’t in on the secret. I didn’t let that stop me from doing my best. On that day my best was a 248 pound squat, a 154 pound bench press, and a 292 pound deadlift. I took Bronze in my age class and set some age/weight class records. Since that day I have grown in many ways but my essence has remained.

2015 Twin Ports Raw Open Totals vs. 2017 MN Women’s State Championship Totals. The numbers have changed but the passion remains the same.
I’ve posted the recap and numbers previously, but here they are again with a little more depth and substance.

The 2017 MN Women’s State Championship meet was truly one for the books. First off, there are now so many women competing in USAPL in Minnesota that we warrant our own championship meet. There were 70 women competing across the spectrum and it was a sight to behold. This group of women is competitive and driven to do our best but we don’t forget that everyone competing has put in the same effort and has the same goals: to be better than before. We cheer everyone on and get excited for each other’s victories. 

My training was pretty much spot-on and going 8 for 9 with the miss due to a technicality was incredible. I weighed in at 83.69 kg to make it just under the 84 kg cutoff. Just where I wanted to be. 

My squats were 275, 297, and 303. I rocked 275 for 3 white lights. No big deal. I squatted and stood up with 297 but was called on a technicality – I didn’t hit depth. Oh well. I had the lift so Coach JVB and I called an audible and I went for 303 pounds for my final attempt (my goal was 314). I squatted and stood up and lo and behold it was good – 2 white lights. 

That squat face, though.
Next was bench. I have been all over bench this training cycle and man have I improved. I have been stuck at 165 pounds for so long I didn’t realize how much I wanted the plateau to be over. I opened with an easy 154, jumped to an impressive 170, and finished solid as a rock with 182. And as a side note, once I realized that my 182 was going up I slowed it down to savor the moment. This was a 17 pound meet PR AND a 2 pound lifetime PR – WITH GREAT FORM!

182 pound bench press. Yes, I did break my plateau.

Finally we got to the Deadlift. Oh the Deadlift. It has a tendency to be a fickle beast but this time I prevailed. Opener was easy at 319. OPENER. Next was 341. This was a little harder and it did roll forward a bit. Because of this we called another audible and I went for 353. And it was GOOD. And a 3 pound lifetime PR and a 16 pound meet PR. 

And this is the face that earned me my name.
I got it.
Another look at that face.
But I didn’t fall over.

All this earned me a 380 kg total (836 pounds) and an age-weight adjusted wilks of 354. I’ve qualified for the 2017 USAPL Raw Nationals and I’m tickled pink with the results. I took the bronze in my division and broke three State records in the Masters 1 84 kg class: squat, deadlift, and total. Apparently I have to work a little harder to get the bench record.

The best hug of the day. Thanks JVB.
Did I just do shot I think I did?

All this was great but there was something else special about this meet. Not only were my biggest supporters there (yes, I’m talking about you, Mom and Dad) but one of sisters and her girls were there to cheer me on, too.  This was pretty special because kids these days are crazy-busy and they gave up a Saturday (the first session was from 9am – 3pm) to watch a sport they knew very little about. They quickly learned that this sport has amazing GIRLS as well. Eight year-old Myla knocked their socks off and may have inspired them to give it a try. So excited for the next generation of lifters!

Team Destroyer at the ready. Thanks for cheering me on!

So yea, this was a pretty good day. 

Wanna see me flex?
Masters 1 Podium – Lara, Michelle, Donna
Coach JVB starting her long day.
Traci and me getting our selfie on.
Never too serious
Team Green always represents.
The gang plus Geno.
Look! We’re medal twins!
Yep, they’re real.
Because of course acro-yoga.
Until next time…

It’s all over but the waiting 

Today was my last heavy day before next Saturday’s 2017 MN Women’s State Championship meet. My training cycle is over and now I’m on rest and recovery for the next week. 

This was by far my best training cycle, mentally speaking. I think coach JVB and I have cracked a code that was elusive and now it’s all up to me to make it happen. As I’ve eluded to in the past this cycle was broken into 3 blocks, each with its own characteristics. 

Block 1 was an extension of sorts of my hypertrophy training. There was lots of volume at lighter weights, really working on building my muscles. 

Block 2 shifted to lifting the heavy shit. I loved this block. Each week I got to work up to a heavy single of the three lifts and each week I was able to remember that I can lift heavy. Strength was being built. 

Block 3 continued with the heavy theme with less volume and more intensity. And with intensity came focus and a little more mental clarity. 

And so we come to today, my last heavy squat day. I’m not going to lie, squats have been a trouble spot for me in the past couple of meets. But I’m feeling good about my progress – I’ve successfully squatted 300 pounds and whether or not I make that at the meet I’m happy. I’ve overcome so many negative thoughts to get here and I’m excited to see how it translates into action. 

A little high on depth. It may have squeaked by.
A little lower. Will still need to watch depth.

Not only have I made strides on getting my head in the game with my squats, but my bench has improved tremendously. To me the bench press is the hardest and most mystifying of the big three. The technique needed to complete the lift (especially in USAPL) is tough and to top that off with needing to strengthen muscles not normally used its hard to get the weight to move. But I did it. As of this writing I have lifted 15 pounds more during this training cycle than I did at Raw Nationals last year. That’s a heck of a jump for bench. Needless to say I’m pretty pleased. 

Not successful. Failed to stay tight in my brace.
Stayed tight and locked it out. Consistency paid off.

And then there’s the Deadlift. What can I say about one of my favorite lifts? Just that I keep improving my total. Slow and steady and consistently I’ve been pulling my weight. I won’t be surprised if I hit 400 by the end of the year (I’m not shooting for that next week but I’ll come close to double body weight). I’ve learned more about bracing and tightening my core and engaging my lats and all the good things. Now I just have to apply it. 

Rounded back and loose brace made this attempt a learning experience rather than a success.
Straight back and braced canister made this a sweeping success!
The hardest part of the coming week will be my meal planning. I still have 5 pounds to cut by Friday so I’ll be watching my food and water intake and getting that weight down. I’m grateful that I have a nutrition coach helping me out otherwise I’m pretty sure I’d miss the weight class cut off. I so want to be in the 84 kg weight class. 

And right now? I’m enjoying a soothing epsom salt bath, relaxing my muscles and willing the week to be over. I just wanna lift and show you what I’ve got. And if you are in the area, why not stop by and cheer me and #TEAMGREEN on? 

An Ode to Half-Time Show Comments

This has been in draft state for a while but with recent comments about Lady Gaga’s body I thought it was time to dust this off, polish it up, and publish it out to the world.

Recently I saw the film “Embrace: one woman’s journey to inspire everyBODY” and I came away with a realization: I am still on this journey and probably always will be.  I know I preach the ideas of “be at peace with the body you have now,” “dress your current body,” “love yourself” and so many more but I haven’t done a lot of soul searching to understand why these revolutionary thoughts mean so much to me. I kind of skipped a step in the healing process and this film has made me want to go back and explore that a little more.

Of the MANY images shown in the movie of how the media portrays the “ideal woman” there was a shot of Kate Moss and reference to “the waif” look of the 1990s that really gave me a gut punch. This was prime time for me developmentally and I certainly didn’t have that “waif” look – once puberty hit I got ALL the curves and that hour glass shape was in direct contrast to the “ideal beauty” of the day. To make matters worse for me (this is not meant to be a slight or anything) both of my sisters were (and still are) taller and thinner than me – one was even literally a princess having come in second in the local beauty contest (she did it for the scholarship money, but she was still a princess).

Me? I was (and am) of average height and larger than most of the people around me. Plus, curves and a chest for days. Totally NOT the ideal. I hid myself fairly well in baggy clothes – thank GOD grunge and the waif thing were happening at the same time! Baggy flannel covering EVERYTHING suited me just fine. I judged myself harshly against others, covering up what I saw as my flaws and failures based on what society was telling me was acceptable. For years I hid myself in oversized clothes and a smile.

But why? Why would I let my happiness and acceptance of myself be dictated by the nameless, faceless masses? Probably because I’m a normal person and not above the images that were bombarding me daily. Ugh. Growing up being different didn’t feel like an asset. It felt like all eyes were on me, judging me against impossible standards. I didn’t know then that my differences were my strengths.

How did I break through my own thoughts and preconceived notions? I’m really not sure. Maybe age, maybe relationships. Definitely by finding my tribes.

Let’s start with relationships, always a good place to start. I met my husband when I was 20 – young, impressionable, naïve (oh so naïve). One of the best things about him was his total acceptance of me as I was – something I hadn’t been able to do for myself. It was great having someone outside my immediate family love me for who I was but it wasn’t a total break through. I still felt like I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t conform to society’s “ideal.” I was thick and strong when the world (or at least the world I was exposed to) was looking for small and delicate. 

As I grew older I knew I was missing something but I didn’t know what. I was smart and successful and had the things society told me I needed – a husband, a career, a house, a nice car. But I wasn’t whole. I was still trying to live up to what others expected or what I perceived that others expected of me. Until I found two things: a reality TV show and a gym. 

Now you may be scratching your head about that reality tv show thing but I’ve got to tell you that “What Not to Wear” helped me in no small way to realize that you didn’t have to be a waif-thin model to dress to kill. Stacy London and Clinton Kelly taught me to dress the body I have and to wear what makes me feel good. They were my first therapists and my cable bill was worth every penny. They accepted everyone and really tried to keep the makeovers true to the person. And I loved it. 

Next was the gym. The first gym I found that encouraged me to be who I was – a thick, strong woman – was a crossfit gym. I was able to move heavy weights and my body responded positively – building muscles and strength like it was going out of style even as I was learning what my style was. There was a strong community, tribe even, of like minded women (and men) who helped me on that initial part of my journey. 

And then my world was rocked by injury and depression. I quit the gym, kind of quit life and sat on my couch for a year trying to figure out what was next. My self doubt was so very strong and the voices of convention were gnawing at my heels. I let those voices into my head and they kept telling me I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t doing it right, I wasn’t good at anything and couldn’t move myself forward. 

Until one day I did. I had had enough of the voices and I found a new gym. One focused on training the mind as well as the body. And slowly, class after class, month after month I realized I had found my new community and my new tribe. The focus wasn’t on comparing yourself to others it was on being better everyday. And being better meant being better at anything that mattered to you. And what mattered to me was improving my self love and remembering that I’m the best at being me. 

I have learned to accept myself – most days. I love my current incarnation and am working hard to strengthen myself inside and out. But I can still be derailed by a comment or sideways glance. The difference now? I can stop myself before I spiral into old habits and thoughts. Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it people like me. 

So, what did I think of the film? I think it should be in everyone’s list of must-see documentaries. The media and pop culture are starting to get it but we still have a long way to go when children see themselves as fat and in need of dieting. Children need to be loved and taught they have value, not that they need to look or behave a certain way. 

I’m going to continue to be a voice for acceptance of who you are and being proud of YOUR accomplishments. No matter what you do I will be there cheering you on, cheering on your better every day. And I’m going to encourage you to brag about your accomplishments because dammit, you deserve it. You can hear me brag on the Women Inspired podcast, hosted by April Seifert. 

And here, for your viewing pleasure, are some of my favorite photos – of me being me.